Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
