redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
So squirting runs in the family.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
