Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize