He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
