you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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