Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
