She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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