Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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