my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
How does it feel to date your dad?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Randomize
