ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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