Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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