you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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