I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
