i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize