dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
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