your thong is hanging out like whoa
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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