It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
