You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
only if we run a train.
done.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I think weed is turning my hair brown
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
