oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
