it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Randomize
