i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
