what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
