What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
