How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
