8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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