I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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