after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
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