ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
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