mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Randomize
