i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
