i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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