the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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