also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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