When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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