we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
