hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
