I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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