I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
