Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
this will be a night to untag.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
