I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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