And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
