before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
