If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize