I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
we're so committed to being not committed
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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