I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
