If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
She made me pour olive oil on her.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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