were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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