I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
