Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
