like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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