There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize