no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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