Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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