So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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