There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
