Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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