I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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