My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Randomize
