How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize