Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
