She is in my trunk
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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