theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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